I read some thing today....

…that has totally helped me with my perspective on a particular issue that has been niggling at me for too long;
“…Dare to pray for an overwhelming sense of love. Not love for the difficult or hurtful situation that has arisen with this person, but love for the soul God created within them. She is His. He loves her. He treasures her even when He doesn’t approve of her actions…” (From “encouragement for today devotional”, ‘consider the source’ by Lysa TerKeurst April 14, 2013)
I swear i didn’t change a word of that quote! it spoke straight to my heart… Love is the only path to forgiveness, and forgiveness is the only way to clean the bitterness and toxicity from my ‘well’ so that what I’m giving to those I love is from a clean, pure, overflowing source. Give from the excess. This is my mantra for today, and the foreseeable future :)

Easter and allergies, more or less

Last Sunday was Easter, the family I work for had their family visiting, so I got an unexpected three day weekend (yay!) which was great since my allergies decided to kick into high gear (boo!) but I survived. There's something about being able to just do nothing every now and then that is so ridiculously satisfying. I really like being able to take advantage of it as often as possible, and as life's responsibilities increase, that seems to be less and less. I was able to make a really delish cuban style lamb shank crock pot meal for Easter (my mom had given up meat for lent, so this was her choice :)) I forgot to take pics and had some difficulty tasting it fully because of the allergy situation, but I'll definitely be making this one again soon, so stay tuned for a recipe on that one!

I was able to catch up with a lot of my favorite people over the last week and a half or so, which was also great. I've been feeling more vulnerable lately which makes me want to pull back, but i'm glad i haven't. I'm a huge fan of being around the people I adore. I'm a very solitary person and absolutely need regular alone time to feel like a normal person, but whether we're just chillin' or running around the city, I feel that I'm fueled by being around my loved ones just as much. So a big thank you to those of you who've made themselves available to me over the last two weeks or so. I love you and am grateful for you!!

I've also been feeling sort of strangely over the last month or two. Lately I've been caught between two very distinct and yet dichotomous feelings. My life has changed so drastically over the last year that I'm used to the uncertainty, but it usually makes me very nervous, at best. I've been feeling the usual sense of urgency regarding my still cloudy-as-pea-soup future, yet whenever I start to tense up with anxiety due to the intense level of uncertainty, I start to feel this overwhelming sense of peace. I understand what's happening to a certain degree, but I've never experienced it, so it's somewhat alarming.... I'm hoping for a new life plateau soon, but am trying to stay present so that I don't miss anything that's happening during the climb. There have definitely been some important lessons to learn so far, and I'm glad I didn't miss them.