honesty is hard

I always told myself that since no one really reads this except the people I care about, that I would always be completely honest. It's weird because I find myself falling into the same old habit of trying to be the person I want people to see instead of just being myself. So, in the interest of being honest, it's about to get real in here. As of this weekend Jared and I will be filling  for divorce. It's something that we have been threatening each other with during fights for over a year, and things finally came to a head about 4 months ago. I moved out, and we've decided after having this time apart, that we've become too different and that the marriage is not going to work. I've had most of the things that I'm judgmental about promptly blow up in my face, this being no exception. I'd always been skeptical of couples who sited 'irreconcilable differences' for their reason for divorce, thinking, 'yeah right, they just met someone else and have no willpower.' which is most decidedly not the case here.
Anyway, I feel cautiously hopeful about the future, and really want Jared to be happy as well. My biggest issue with our relationship (or what it had deteriorated to) was that we were both supremely unhappy, and clearly not wanting or being able to meet each others needs. The more we separately sought out personal happiness, the farther we drifted from each other, and once the friendship goes, the respect goes with it, so here we are.
So alone again. but never lonely. I have the most supportive friends and family that a person could ever hope for, and that is the real blessing, I believe.

This cleanse of mine

I've done a cleanse before, it was a soy/raw freeze dried fruit shake based cleanse, and it was really great actually, very filling and not too sweet, so you could add what you wanted to it, and the cleanse allowed for all the raw fruits and veggies you wanted, so it wasn't massively restrictive. However, I did discover that I have a pretty intense soy sensitivity, and I had to either eat like, half a pomagranite or drink a large cup or green tea to not start feeling itchy and hot. So this time I'm going with the 'pressed' cleanse, which is an almond/green protein juice cleanse. I decided to go with the 3 day cleanse instead of the 5 day (mainly for cost reasons) with 3 days prep and 3 days to ease back into a more normal diet on either end (9 days total).  I'm trying to get exercise in after work when I can since the days are longer (woo!) and it's actually been pretty nice weather (double woo!!) Post cleanse, the first day will be pretty 'soft' only adding fresh greens and steamed veggies, then I will add in goat cheese and fish. I will be trying to go back to how things were toward the beginning of the year, diet wise. The last couple of months have been pretty hard on me, so part of my 'healthy sabbatical' has had to do with me just trying to comfort myself (I know, I know, not the best coping mechanism, shu-uh!) anywhoo, I'm pretty stoked to get healthy again, I'm really hoping that this summer kicks ass, since the last two have really kicked mine!!

Resolution update: April

As was previously mentioned I have decided to take Lent off from my healthy endeavors. I'm hoping in time to be able to articulate my reasoning behind this move better at a later date, but in preparation for Easter, (when I will be ending my junk food/no exercising binge and doing a quickie 5 day juice cleanse) I am going veggie until then and have begun jogging to get the exercise regime rolling. I'd also like to make some sort of amends for this hiatus by adding to my resolution list. I'm not totally into going to the gym as a source of getting fit, it just seems so limited to me (although, when it's cold and rainy, I'd much rather be indoors, so I get it, and I'm totally not knocking the gym, yo) so in the interest of learning new things, and being slightly more athletic (which, I'm totally NOT) I'd like to at least try the following things this year:

Tennis

this seems like something I could get into, since there's very little contact, you get a good workout, you can wear  cute skirts still if you want, and yelling is OK. 

Biking

now, I'm not going to be going on any crazy cross country-ing, but I would like to at least get a bike, and once I'm in the city again, attempt to ride it here and there instead of taking my car.

Hiking

This is something that I've gotten more into the last few years, but I absolutely love being in the outdoors when the weather is nice, and would love to do more hiking (and picnicking!)

Vegas vacation

I spent this last week visiting my sister in Las Vegas with my dad and a few of his friends from work. I had a really great time! I've been going through some personal hardships and it was really good to be around a few of the people who know, love and support me most.
Here's a few pics:

It rained on Saturday!

We went to this old school MC's,
Alice had a hankering for the cheddar soup and salad bar...

This is the new hotel lobby and check in counter at the oldest hotel in Las Vegas:
The Golden Gate on Fremont street.
My extremely talented sister is the lead designer!!

Hoover Dam

 Valley of Fire

"Beehive" rock formations

All in all it was a great trip. When I lived there I was 19, and although I've been back a few times to visit since then, I was really able to go to a few haunts I'd always wanted to visit but never had the opportunity to as a 'youth'.
I'm already planning my next trip, so everyone start saving now so you an come with me! I promise it won't be disappointing ;)

Resolution update: March

I've taken a bit of a break from my 'healthy start to the new year' and decided my loop hole is to give up healthy food and home cooking for lent. I'll get in to a more in depth explanation when I finish formulating one...

However, after Easter, I plan to do a juice cleanse I'm super excited to try, and I'll be back at it with a new slew of recipes that I'm super stoked for, and workout regime to get my butt back in gear.

but first, I'm going to Vegas with my dad to visit my sister and I'm so excited!!! It's been entirely too long... we leave on the 13th!!

Hiking

This last Saturday we took a hiking trip to lake Cushman! The weather was weird as usual, (sunny, rainy, snowy, and super windy) and it was great! If only the day had been able to finish out as well it started.... (le sigh...)

It's a really amazing landscape! I can only imagine what it's like during the summer....

NYFW

I love fashion. If you know me, you more than likely already know this, but if you didn't, now you do. It's kind of funny, since I wear sweats most days, but as an art form, I adore fashion. I also have a huge amount of respect for designers, and have no problem whatsoever falling in love with clothes. and shoes. Wear-ability is chiefly what I look for in clothing design, although I loves me some Haute Couture and think of it as being in the same realm as fine art.

So having said that, New York Fashion Week (which is actually 8 days of events spanning Feb. 9-16 this year) just wrapped up, and I'd like to share my favorite runway shows from the ready to wear collections. (Click on the designer name to view the runway show from this year. courtesy of Style.com)
Derek Lam was my #1 favorite. I LOVE what he's doing with leather and proportions.
Number #2 would have to be a tie between J Crew, which, try as I might to be 'edgier', is still my favorite 'basic' brand, the entire collection is so my style right now. 2.2 would have to be Chris Benz. Every look was like 'bam! ~ bam! ~ bam!' like 'Mad Men' meets Gwen Stefani, So good... I also LOVED Michael Kors. He basically hit all my usual buttons, so to speak. (plaid? check. lace? check. leather? check. chunky knits? check. 20s and 40s inspired gowns? check.) Nanette Lepore was amazing, her play with color and textures really made me smile, and Marchesa was just wonderful. If I hadn't already gotten married (and had the money) #13 (in the slide show) would have been everything...
The rest of my favorites were a bit harder to quantify. Rachel Zoe had an amazing collection this year, I love what she does with layers, and her designs are just, in a word:classic.  Preen, Rachel Roy, and the Row were expertly cut and tailored on the edge of a knife, so so SO terrifically chic. Tory Burch was so cute, very 'Blair Waldorf'.
I really liked Victoria Beckham! I really like how she used the boots/socks through the whole show, very cute. That's definitely a look I can get on board with this season. I really liked J Mendel also, although nothing really surprised me there, it was all very lovely. I liked Marc by Marc Jacobs too. The way he plays with masculine/feminine has always intrigued me. I didn't love the metallic bits, but I loved the boots. I also liked Rodarte. I'm not loving the whole, military style exposed pocket thing, or the hand print stuff, but LOVED the shoes! I had to look at the collection twice because I was so taken with them the first time around.
Badgley Mischka and the gowns at Jenny Packham and Vivienne Tam were exquisite,  they make me wish I had a fancy event to go to. *sigh*
No one does draping like Doo.Ri, and she did not disappoint this year either. Her sweaters and gowns are amazing! I'm kind of excited for her Macy's collection too... Tracy Reese was so 'of the moment' with the mix of media, and Y3 for 'Adidas' was both unconventional (as usual) and super comfy looking, there were definitely some pieces I'm going to be trolling for in the near future...
Cynthia Rowley was an interesting one for me. I'd have to go thirdsies on that one. a third of it I loved, a third of it was 'meh' and a third of it I really didn't like at all. The third of it I loved, I really, really love though, which is funny, because the third I don't like, I really, really don't like, (she did some 'inside bits on the outside' thing that I'm not a fan of) and that's unusual for me, especially since I love Cynthia Rowley full stop usually... 
One that surprised me was Sharon Wauchob's designs for Edun! The colors! The patterns! Everything! It was so 'right now' Blown away...
  
Until next year, New York...