Thursday, March 21, 2013

I've been needing to start blogging again.....

I’ve been wanting to start up blogging again but I’m still undergoing a lot of change and have been trying to work out how much of it I want to share ‘publicly’. My divorce was finalized on the last day of last year, so I’ve felt compelled to continue moving forward in every way possible. I haven’t necessarily been very patient with myself, so i feel that in some respects I have moved forward by leaps and bounds, and in others have kind of just been spinning my wheels. Fortunately I seem to have the disposition that leads me to look for the lesson to be learned or the positive side of things regardless of how bleak things seem in the moment, and that provides me with a profound sense of peace. I’ve been quietly mulling over what it is I hope to look back at come December 31st of this year. I still feel apprehensive about posting about it, but there are a few specific things and those seem to be falling into place.

My impulse control this year was much looser than I usually allow, and I definitely didn’t escape unscathed. However, the hurts will heal and I will be a better person one day for enduring and learning from what I’ve endured. I’ve learned that you can be good, you can be right, you can always be striving to be the bigger person, and other people will still find a way to use you or hurt you, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. Part of me wants to be like, ‘fuck people in general’ and just sit at home and binge watch tv, however, I firmly believe that none of the connections I’ve made this year were in vain. For every friend I’ve made (or attempted to make) and lost, there are at least a half a dozen new friendships that have been forged and I am eternally grateful for. As for the friends who have fallen by the wayside or away all together, I’m grateful for those as well. They’ve taught me about myself more than anything else, and that is always a good thing.

There are some pretty big changes coming down the pike of my life and I’m excited about what the future holds.
My work situation is changing, in both location and responsibility and I’m stoked about that for sure, this summer is shaping up to be a good one, providing its not unseasonably cold….. Which is still a distinct possibility seeing as I live in the Pacific Northwest.

The weekend is approaching and I’m looking forward to hopefully hiking with some friends (pictures to follow, fingers crossed!) as well as an Easter themed fiesta (you read that right) and of course, Sunday karaoke! :)
Stay tuned….

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